So today is a very sensitive and significant day in my life, marking half a decade since my dear mum passed away from breast/bowel cancer. It was a thing my family and I knew was going to happen, like watching a building fall in slow motion. I had to become a lot less dependent - which has come in handy for me now what with the cooking and cleaning and such. I was aware of how close this day was getting since the start of the month, and combined with the general pressures of starting my second term of second year, and missing Jackson, I wasn't in the best head space. It was a great relief, therefore, to have Jackson come stay with me for a few days, cook me food, watch movies, and generally make me forget the stresses of day-to-day life. Today, I actually forgot for awhile what importance the date had until he went home again and something just clicked in my mind. I'm not feeling sad though, which is good - it may have something to do with the half bottle of wine I have drank! But as I watch the many lights flicker in my central heated bedroom, I feel I have a degree of control and freedom with my life that she would be proud of.
So to end this increasingly short entry, I want to say thank you to my mum, to praise all others who, like me, had to grow up a little bit faster, and to admire those mothers who continue to amaze us with their skills which the former camp feel they may never master.
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