See, it DOES snow in Plymouth!

As you can tell from my title, we have finally had the first snow in a long time down here - or so I'm told, though this is certainly my first proper snow since coming here. While getting down to some research this morning for my dissertation, it began to really come down: small flakes at first, just a light dusting, then more and more until the ground and rooftops were fully coated like icing sugar. Then the wind started whipping it up until it looked like a blizzard. I knew I'd have to be going out in it later for my dissertation meeting - and it did cross my mind that my supervisor might not be able to make it into uni on time/at all - but I was just feeling so cosy in my room that it didn't bother me too much. Of course, once I left, I felt the brisk chill of the air and was thankful for my thick fluffy hood. But yes, at my supervisor's office, I got no response and so headed back home, to also learn that tonight's performance of Beowulf - of which I would be paid to usher - would not be going ahead because of the weather.
You see, when you're younger, all you want is to have snow days so you can stay home and have snow ball fights, make snow men, and generally not worry about school again until the next day - or the next few days if it's a Friday. But for uni students, missing out on class can be a bit more of a detriment than a blessing as those lessons/meetings are vital to us (though fortunately the weather hasn't done much more than postponed an advice session and deprived me of about £18).
So the rest of my day has been eating pesto-courgette-broccoli-chicken spaghetti and reading up on tips for good feature writing intros.
Now, with an almost-finished wine glass of gin and tonic to hand, and the wind wailing through my window seal like a curious ghost, I am left wondering how to fill the rest of my evening. I could run a late bath (skipping the need for a shower in the morning and giving myself more time to work), do some colouring of my gorgeous animal book, watch Netflix/YouTube, or prep for an early night... I guess we'll just see how things go.

Poetry, Pines, and Productive Procrastination

Hey, so I guess I knew it was going to get a little sporadic, but I'm here again...for however long this lasts this time. Things haven't exactly been going to plan as in, I haven't started doing the research for my final dissertation chapter properly which I had been planning on starting to write this week. BUT I got to see a brilliant movie - The Place Beyond the Pines, starring Ryan Gosling and Dane DeHaan - at the Plymouth Arts Centre's Secret Cinema night on Sunday, along with some excellent artwork by local artists. Grant Wallace, the guy who did my sketch during the Life Drawing class at The Mad Merchant - which he has now turned into a proper painting - was there with his art.
Yesterday was another full day of classes, examining the anatomy of an arts and culture review in Professional Writing and the free form styles of poetry in Contemporary Poetry.
Today was a lot more involved with poetry than I had previously thought it would be, given that I had a Letterpress printing press induction session by the end of which I had a bookmark sized piece of ink printed 'poetry' created by me, my tutor Ben, and two other English students. I think it helped create a new mentality for me: This perfection time bomb will not blow. Just got to fight it back. It was interesting learning how they used to create printed works and the time/effort that goes into it. This was a three hour session, mind, and we only made a bookmark sized set of lines so yeah, a very involved process.
For the afternoon, I had a session discussing the art of book binding, submitting work to publishers, and the work of the smaller presses with Luke Thompson of the Guillemot Press - who I had worked with at the Port Eliot Festival in July last year - which complemented my morning rather nicely.
Rehearsal went okay tonight too - may need to consider investing in some elbow and knee pads because I am going to get so many bruises from tripping and falling all over the place these next few weeks. But I feel more confident about my role, so I'm happy. And now I'm here, cosy in my room because it's exceedingly cold outside - enough to make it snow earlier - having watched Scary Movie 3, a fulfilling cringe-fest of a film.
Tomorrow, I have my meeting with Mandy, my dissertation supervisor, to discuss my second chapter draft - and hope I haven't made any stupid mistakes again - while alternating between pro writing reading and my delayed research for the final chapter.
Wish me luck!

Movies Galore

I missed a night. Was bound to happen some time. Of course, I got back a bit late yesterday so it was bordering on unavoidable. But I did have a good time yesterday - in spite of the mounting Siberian temperatures out there.
Cosied up in the Mad Merchant's reading room, with a large milky Americano and my Contemporary Poetry reader, it was the kind of day which I'd score maybe a 6/10 to start with, but I didn't want it to end. I just wanted to sit there - or at least until I started to get a numb bum from the sitting - and just read. Wasn't the most riveting of reading when you're only trying to understand the bizarre art of free verse (that squiggly wandering verse that defies the printer's fervent pleas to 'make it simple' not 'make it new'), but I got through it all. With the help of a balsamic tomato and garlic mushroom Jacka bread brioche. Mmmm.
I did, however, have somewhere else to be that day, that being my dear friend Mark's house, for Chinese take-away and a home screening of Stanley Kubrik's A Clockwork Orange, perhaps the first film I had ever seen with full female nudity and sex - back when I was a few years younger and more naive. It being a cold day outside, it wasn't particularly tropical inside either, leading me to be curled up on a sofa with a fleece and two hot water bottles, in addition to the warmth of my small chicken chow mein and fried vegetables.
Didn't fill me with any degree of confidence to learn that day that someone had been stabbed just outside the city centre in broad daylight, though. Having been accompanied most of the way home by Mark, I was left a little uneasy as I finished the last 10 minutes of my journey alone. But, as you can tell, I made it back safe - as did he.
Consequently, due to my late night, I had a late morning, which turned into a lazy procrastinating morning, and I didn't actually start my dissertation research until 12pm, leaving me little time to devour enough of a library book to get the gist of it. This was because I needed to be at the local arts venue, the Plymouth Arts Centre, for an evening showing of Steven Spielberg's The Post. Ordinarily, I wouldn't have considered seeing this film if my professional writing tutor hadn't suggested it to the entire class on Monday. So now I'm writing my workshop piece as a review of it. Seriously hope it comes out alright - I'm already half way through.
Tomorrow, I hope to finish both my review AND my library book, as well as getting two free verse poems under my belt in preparation for Monday.
I know I have come to terms with the fact that having all my classes on one day is actually beneficial, but it doesn't half make my weekend feel crowded. I'll let you know how I fare, though it'll probably be Monday when I remember to blog next because I have another Arts Centre event (not class-related) to attend tomorrow night. See you then!

Better not dust my hands off yet...

And so I managed it at last: chapter two of my dissertation is drafted, ready to edit and email to my supervisor in the morning. I had a reluctant start (as expected) but finished it within 5 hours. That only left me to refuel on stir-fry and YouTube, before starting on reading for professional writing next week. Focus: arts reviews - which obviously I am very much into so it was a helpful exercise to strengthen my understanding of the art. Admittedly that reading has been slow going too but I should have time to finish it tomorrow. Along with starting research on the final chapter of my dissertation and my professional writing articles - oh boy, so busy!

A Mixed Palate of Feelings

So yesterday, my rescheduled class NOT being there messed me up, and guess what, it's only gone and messed up today just as badly.
The class itself was brilliant and original - think, faux mocktail party where people chat about how good or bad your work is (kind of like a down market authors' soiree), mixed with an informative transatlantic Skype call to Manuel Roig-Franzia, author and journalist for The Washington Post, and a smattering of my tutor trying to be hip by assigning an article on Kurt Cobain as required reading. Of course, the remembrance that I needed to be back in my room asap to finish my dissertation chapter was ever present, and only when I got back did I realise how messed up and unprepared I was as a result.
Having sat and stressed and typed and deleted and retyped from 2.30 til 5.30pm with only a little over 100 words to show for it, I had to concede defeat, get some dinner, and then get to Amateur Dramatics rehearsals.
As you might remember, I was really not happy about my casting for this showcase, but having ran through the play itself with several amendments, I am actually not feeling so salty about the whole thing. I am the joke character - clumsy, illiterate, and ditzy - but I kind of like it. With not too many lines, it suits my current work schedule pretty well too. And to top it off, I can only look forward to seeing how those who got my coveted parts perform in my stead.
Anyway, I wanted some down time before I sleep so I'm going to watch YouTube for a bit. I hope I have better news for you this time tomorrow i.e. that I'm done with my chapter two (for now) and have managed most, if not all, of my professional writing reading for next week. See you then!

Healthy Aliens and Cosy Cardis

Just a quick one, because it is a little late and I want a bit of time to unwind before bed and my rescheduled Professional Writing workshop in the morning.
So I felt a little thrown out of order today - because of said rescheduled class which was supposed to be this morning. However, I did manage to get everything - barring any additional words to my dissertation - done today that I had written down to do, and that included my laundry. I've been left with a very soft cardigan borrowed from Jackson which I pulled crackling with static from the dryer - so cosy!
Haven't eaten a lot today though, which could be a good thing, but then I guess I just wasn't hungry!
Also, I feel my poetry is now entering a new state of criticism because this is the first time I have ever had my poetry marked on any serious level, except during first year - but to be honest, I don't really feel that counts. I wrote a poem about spinach, titled A Healthy Alien, and I thought the structure and wording was pretty ingenious, but then maybe my random trains of thought aren't quite as effective as I first thought they were. Probably just a sign of there being room for improvement.
Ok - time to go. Dissertation work also calls tomorrow. Wish me luck.

I'm Pickle Rick!

It would appear that time really does fly. I've waited so long for this weekend to be here and now it's over. But it's provided me with a much needed break. I have done a bit of work while Jackson was here, but mostly we've been watching nearly all three seasons of Rick and Morty, cooking up chicken dinners (stir-fry, curry, and Nandos fajita wraps), and chilling. I managed to get another 200 words out for my stray dogs article as well as drafting two new poems before getting to finish season 3 on my own. Tomorrow, however, it's back to the real world of classes and dissertation. But it's also just over a month until I get to go home and see Jackson and my family again. I'm feeling kind of okay with how things are going at the moment though that may well be subject to change at any moment. I'll hang on for now.

Ill-Applied Dedication

Told myself at about 10pm last night that I'd have time to write yesterday's blog - that was before I spent about 5 hours editing a piece of travel writing I wrote in second year in a desperate attempt not to miss the INK magazine deadline. I managed to get the 2000+ piece down to the required 1000 words but it was a labour of blood, sweat, and tears (not literally but if I don't get published after all that effort it might be).
Anyway, due to my late night/late morning, it is now midday and I still haven't showered or made any effort (except brushing my teeth) to get ready to work on my dissertation - which I am falling behind on again. I've tried telling myself it's okay to be behind on my goals but when I'm still 800 words away from being 2/3 of the way towards my end goal, it's disheartening.
I don't want this blog to be nothing but my depressing self-deprecations but that's the reality at the moment.
On the bright side, I did do all my reading for professional writing, but due to the time taken to do said reading (and then the insane focus on getting the INK piece sorted), I had no time to research for the 600-word article I need to write by Monday. I have decided on stray animals as my nature/enviro/science feature, but will have to hope I have the time to research tonight.
Probably best go shower now or I will lose even more time. See you later or rather tomorrow morning (realistically).

Update: There was me, feeling low and sure I'd forget to write tonight but I haven't. What's more, I managed to reach 2000 words AND do a decent bit of research on stray dogs. So yes, I'm feeling happier than I was 12 hours ago.
But tomorrow, with the arrival of Jackson, should be even better. I know I won't have time to write here during his visit but I'll let you know how things are going again soon.

Taking my Pick and Mix of the Day

Well today has - thus far - been a day of ups and downs.
I managed to get out of bed just ten minutes after my original half 7 alarm, which was good.
I only spent £20 at Aldi on ingredients for three dinners, also good. However, between 12 and 4, I struggled to keep that going and only managed about 150 words on my dissertation. But I am learning to accept that sometimes, I just can't meet my goals. Dinner, however, (chicken, broccoli, pesto, tomato mix) was very good though, so it kind of made up for it.
At amateur dramatics auditions, I just ate a load of my pick and mix (and offered it to anyone who came near so I didn't feel so guilty) until finally it was time to linger in corridors and wait to be called. I felt so nervous going in to do my favourite part so I really hope I didn't screw up too badly. Just got to wait maybe another 80 minutes before I find out the results.
I will stay up, drinking wine, listening to dubstep (a genre I never thought I'd get into 10 years ago) and typing class notes until then - and will probably update this with the results when I know.

Update: I don't want to jump the gun - though I may as well have been shot by it. I have, on the form uploaded to the UPAD page, been cast as Jack/Jackie in Animalistic Intentions, a drunk redneck basically. I don't know if that's final, or how a society I love so dearly could do this to me on my final showcase, but I am devastated and, unless there is a way to change this or simply change the nature of my character, I am considering boycotting the showcase. I didn't come to the auditions with very high hopes, but after my performance in the Autumn, I thought I was deserving of better than this. I know I've said before that I can take a role and make it my own, but this is an impossibility this time. I just can't stop crying right now because I genuinely feel insulted.

Ok just got a message back from my friend Chloe who is director of the play and apparently, they're changing the 'essence' of my character, but it's not a role I'm 'unsuited' for. I don't like to complain behind people's backs, but this role is even less suited to me than Sharon on my first showcase. At least then I could be sassy/bossy/anything other than stupid. I wanted so much for this to be a 'decent' role for me to end my time with UPAD on but how can I do that when I'm stuck with a mediocre character? There are so many similar parts I would've happily accepted other than this! I put my soul into portraying every character I auditioned for, so why is it never good enough?????

All about that Bogarde

Hi, back again! Thought I best get this in before I start work on my notes or it'll get too late and/or I'll forget. Poetry went alright, delving into the depths of what 'a tray of eggs' could signify and making up poetry from [seemingly] random words (actually D.H. Lawrence's 'Nothing to Save'):

Original:
There is nothing to save, now all is lost,
but a tiny core of stillness in the heart
like the eye of a violet.

My creation with...some of the words:
In the stillness
of a violet nothing
there is now
but a lost core

It made use of several words that really spoke to me, what with me being a bit of a melancholic poet at times. But I must say, I am really am enjoying these in-class (and out of class) free-writing exercises. I have pulled a fair few good lines from my mind this way. Unfortunately, I put a little too much thought into how I would write my rat/fear poem and not enough into actually writing the thing, so that's a task for next week along with....well, we haven't actually been told what we're writing just yet.
Managed to grab a bite of sushi after class, which meant I was sat eating edamame beans from the pod while writing a short poem about a woman with fiery hair that I passed on the street. Finally, having secured myself last week's issue of Kerrang! I sat and read it, waiting for half 6 when I could begin my ushering for tonight's film: Basil Dearden's Victim starring the handsome Dirk Bogarde. A rather controversial film for its time, released in 1961, given that it dealt with the issue of homosexuality. To keep it brief, I really couldn't believe that being gay in those days was considered a criminal offence worthy of imprisonment. Almost made me cry by the end - though that may have had as much to do with the poignancy of the scene as the fact that it was Dirk Bogarde (who, I might add, was just a name to me before tonight).
So yes, good day overall. Now to finish it up with note typing which will probably see me through til midnight....

On Target (Sort of)

Uh oh, where did Sunday go? I forgot it, that's where. So instead I am (again) battling against my phone's autocorrect with my left index finger over lunch. Yesterday, you will be pleased to hear, I managed to make up for the problems I encountered with PRIMO and the subsequent slowing of the dissertation train, and made it to my desired 1500 words before 9pm. This also meant I had enough time to finish my article for today (which, incidentally, was well received in class). All that left was my poetry tasks to finish but by then it was nearly midnight and I needed to be up in six hours so that is why, when I'm done here, I will address those tasks.
And to help that process, I will be going right now. See you tonight (possibly).

Finding My Stride

Another day over, but at least this time I can say I'm satisfied with it. Got off to a very slow start and I'd barely managed 100 words by 2pm. Half 4 came around and hardly doubled that. Food was therefore the only solution: a good hearty bowl of tuna and prawn stir fry with noodles and a beef bao bun, and some more of my failure-cheesecake (which still tastes so damn delicious). After that, the words flowed a little easier and I eventually got as close to 1000 as I could by 9pm.
At this point, I needed to switch disciplines and focus on my student housing feature article which, again, was slow to start but by the time my brain gave up near midnight, I had almost 500 words on the page (an increase of about 250 since last night).
Unfortunately, I have to do it all - and more - again, in the morning. So best be getting that sleep in. It's an empty house for me tonight...

Friday I'm (Sort of) In Love

I don't seem too good at this blogging thing, do I? Keep forgetting, at the end of each day, to just sit and mull it over. Probably because I was watching the Mighty Boosh until half 11 last night. Well, either way, I shall recount my Friday and be on my way.
Managed to drag myself out of bed at half 7 - I know, I keep trying but only so often to I actually succeed - and even got some food shopping done before my personal tutor meeting at 10. I'm not sure what I was expecting to hear but obviously the solution to [most of] my problems is to stop stressing and forcing myself to do more than I can realistically manage. As to careers, I shouldn't be panicking over that too much either - just dedicate maybe an hour every Sunday night to thinking things over.
Anyway, once that little heart-to-heart was over, I could wend my way to The Mad Merchant, my No.1 coffee spot in Plymouth for a large Americano, some potato soup, chocolate cake, and a cosy sofa to get my poetry reading done. As always, that was slow going, but I wasn't feeling rushed which helped, and the new guy working there made me feel at home too.
Next stop that day was to get a friend to look at my 'poor' laptop, which as it turns out is just being a very selective little arse (pardon me) and only screws up with regards to PRIMO (as I mentioned). One fix was to use Microsoft Edge instead, but that only solved half the problem, meaning my articles still load at glacial speed. I'll see how things go today.
Back home, a ready-meal beef stew was the thing to keep me going before my amateur dramatics EGM to elect new committee members (they, unfortunately, keep having to leave which always makes me sad).
Finally, back home, it was time to do a three-minute free write on rats and fear for my poetry module, then 200 words to start an article on student housing in Plymouth for professional writing - aided by a tall cool wine glass of gin and tonic. THEN The Mighty Boosh!
My Fridays are looking to be good days for the foreseeable few months - I hope. Next Friday, at least, will be as Jackson is coming to visit.
Also, I realise that I was been doing this 3-minute free write every morning but never uploading it (to be honest, they're not great but if I have the time, I might edit them a little and post them on my other page - so watch that other space). See you tonight - if I remember.

My Inevitable Breakdown

So today has not treated me well at all. It starts and end with the fact that I can't seem to get PRIMO (the online library service) to let me access my saved articles properly which means I can't do my referencing properly. So I decide, after much deliberation, to go to the library (this being around 2pm) to try and get a decent amount of work done. That, unfortunately, does not happen, as I only manage a measly 170 words by 5pm and I am getting hungry. I have had to put up with chatting all over the place and it drove me insane. So now I'm here, having cried far too many times, feeling tears threaten again, and wondering whether I should just call it a night and go read or pull myself together and go back to the library to try and bang out at least another 200.....? I know the ideas are there but the fact that I can't access my essential information in the comfort of my own room is just unfair! This only started a week ago and I don't know why.
I have a friend who says she will get someone to look at it for me, but damn this is not what I need at this point in my degree. I think I will just let it go until the weekend. I can't face going out again.
So sorry this has been such a negative post, but I knew something like this would happen to me at some point. Let's see where we are a week from now when Jackson is finally here. 1900 words in one week isn't impossible after all. Is it?

Falling off the Bandwagon

So, if you didn't already know, I am prone to forgetting to blog every night - hence why I'm fighting with the autocorrect on my phone (which is only terrible when I'm working on this for some reason).
But anyway, yesterday went better for me than I thought it would as, despite my nerves, I felt I was getting positive feedback more than negative from my tutor regarding my dissertation. So I left her office happy. Returning home, I needed foodfand so decided to not only cook a tiny bargain pizza (from a 4-pack available at Tesco for just £1.70) but I decided today would be the day I made Buzzfeed's 5-minute Microwave Cheesecake. To cut a long story not too short (but to still help me

My beautiful failure

finish this story faster as I haven't had breakfast yet) IT FAILED.... It cooked fine in the microwave but the biscuit base got stuck in the dish so the whole thing just crumbled when I tried to extract it. Incidentally, the extraction wasn't until the evening when it accompanied my less-of-a-failure dinner of fish fingers, sweet potato and sweetcorn. My day thus ended with me searching up figures for the trends in university enrolment across the UK vs number of homeless for an article. The latter continued to evade me and so I gave in, read some poetry, and got to bed (whereupon I should have been writing this but forgot). I best go make some breakfast and I'll let you know how my day went (hopefully) tonight.

There's Always a Bright Side

So I tried to do a magic trick today: I tried to make 500 words of my dissertation appear on a page, and failed. Not as spectacularly as Sunday when I aimed for 500 and sort of dribbled 125 words onto the page. Today I managed to bring that total up to 470 but yeah, it's slow going. What's more, I have a meeting with my tutor regarding my dissertation portfolio tomorrow at noon! I am definitely nervous. But that's for me to tell you this time tomorrow.
Today, writing aside, I have enjoyed my evening with the lovely people of Plymouth's Amateur Dramatics society aka my second family! I survived further than I imagined I would playing Hello Sister (the simple premise being to walk up to a member of the group and try to make them laugh - if you fail, you take their place in the circle, and it is their turn; if you succeed, they sit, and you try with someone else). But when it came time for workshops - this week summarizing a popular film -  I had the bad luck of ending up in a group who got Stars Wars (which, if you hadn't guessed, I have never seen). After some deliberation, our end piece was an over-enthusiastic amateur breakdown of The Empire Strikes Back, explained to me as the simultaneously real and pretend friend who hadn't seen it. Other films made fun of included The Lion King/Drag Queen, Twilight, Mean Girls, and Cinderella (with twin step-sisters Justina and Justiana played by one person).
Back home, the end of my night was similarly dramatic as the Spring Showcase scripts had been uploaded and I am so impatient for auditions next week. If you had stood outside my bedroom door around 10.30pm, you would've heard some strange conversations being conducted with myself. From past experience, I have never landed the role I so desperately wanted, but as this is my last showcase, I am crossing my fingers that I get lucky. We'll see what next week brings.

Guess who's back!

Ok, welcome back! Yes, I know it's been a while (8 months to be exact) but as I started my professional writing module today, I felt it was time - or possibly just a necessity - to boot up my daily blog once more. I won't worry about filling in the details of the last 8 months. The fact that I'm now here, stressing like crazy over my dissertation means that I passed second year. Here's hoping I survive these last few months in the same way.
In case you were wondering, no, I haven't made a New Year's Resolution and I don't intend to. If you need evidence, I spent £5 on a half kilo bag of Wilkos pick n mix sweets today, the most exercise I get all week is climbing stairs on Mondays for my my only classes of the week, and I spend too much on alcohol whenever I go out with friends.
I may need to get in the habit of writing this on my laptop instead of my phone because the keypad is rather sensitive. So if there are any typos, blame my phone.
With that, it might be best to go now. My dreaded dissertation awaits in the morning. I will fill you in tomorrow night.