Only know yourself when you let others go

And so the packing up of my first year here in Plymouth has begun. My walls are bare, my shelves and drawers empty, and there are boxes, bags and a suitcase crowding my bedroom floor. Going to start on the kitchenware I don't need to use for the next two days tomorrow after my final trip to the library. I can't start on my clothes until after I've done my laundry which I plan to do Friday, but it's happening all the same. 
I think I'd like to record all of the things I will/won't miss about this place now, starting with the noisy dude who lives below me; I won't miss him and his shouting/bass heavy tunes/occasional sex noises (?). I won't miss the taps that can't decide if they're hot or cold; I won't miss the biker who decides to zoom up and down the alley below my balcony; I won't miss the Wednesday 3pm fire alarm test which [almost] always scares the crap out of me; I won't miss the shitty Wi-Fi which makes Skype calls all but impossible; I won't miss the smell from my en-suite bathroom; I won't miss the general sounds of slamming doors, shouting, singing, screaming, which permeate the air and the building at all hours of the night.
What I WILL miss is my shower which is SO much better than the lukewarm dribble I have at home; I will miss the privacy of my room here, and having stuff which is solely mine; I will miss being able to play my music out loud; I will miss just cooking for myself - in short, I will miss the independence and solidarity of being here, even though I recognise my need to socialise (which I have failed to hold up on my end of the plan).
Yet I know what home means to me too: it's my cosy bed which I sink into and which doesn't hurt my ass from sitting on for too long; it's the fully stocked kitchen which means I never have to cook weird food combinations; it's the comprehensible buses; the stronger Wi-Fi; the calm and quiet of the country. And most importantly, my family and friends who I have missed, but which my love of solitude failed to let me acknowledge. I may complain about having to share stuff again, but that's only because I've been selfish for so long, I've forgotten what it's like. And love. I may have forgotten what that's like too. I may get smarter here, but I sure never thought I could be lonely.